Love Notes – Emera and Marcus – Married 30 Years (part 2)
Is it possible to recognize your life partner when you’ve had very little life experience? Check out part two Emera and Marcus’ story and let me know what you think. Read part one of their story here.
Published on Wednesdays, Love Notes interviews – with people married 20 years or longer – inspire us about what’s possible and capture a realistic picture of what it takes to make love last a lifetime.
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Emera is a former professional dancer and a Sisterlocks consultant. Marcus is an experienced Hollywood Stuntman.
Ms. Finks: How did Marcus propose?
Emera: He took me to see Alvin Ailey, a concert. We went to dinner first and he proposed at a restaurant in Manhattan called Hawaii Kai, a Hawaiian fusion restaurant. He proposed in the restaurant.
Ms. Finks: Did you know it was coming?
Emera: I didn’t know when it was coming. I had an idea because we had been talking about getting married. But you know, we were five years in. At this point, I was ready.
Ms. Finks: (laughter)
Emera: You know, five years into the relationship already. He proposed there. That was in December of 1985. Yeah, because we were engaged for two and a half years before we got married. So, we were together seven and a half years before we actually got married.
Ms. Finks: Did you have a small wedding? A big wedding?
Emera: It was a big wedding. We had over 275 people.
Ms. Finks: Oh my gosh!
Emera: Yeah, I had eight bridesmaids and groomsman. It was big. Yeah. It was a big wedding. In Queens.
Ms. Finks: You come from a big family?
Emera: My immediate family? Or cousins…
Ms. Finks: Oh, ok. So your extended family is quite large.
Emera: Yeah, my extended family is quite large. My immediate family is not very big. I have two younger sisters, but I also have half brothers, twin brothers. But they were born when I was in college. I’m older than them by about 23 years, or so.
Ms. Finks: Does Marcus come from a big family?
Emera: No, he has a brother and a sister, and an adopted sister.
Ms. Finks: So the size of your wedding was a function of your friends?
Emera: Friends and family. A lot of friends and family came from Aruba and St. Maarten. His family came from Brazil. So a lot of people came from out of the country. And of course, my parents’ friends and mine. So yeah, it was a lot of family from abroad.
Ms. Finks: Are you the oldest of your siblings.
Emera: Uh huh.
Ms. Finks: Ok, ok. So you were the first to get married?
Emera: No, I wasn’t the first.
Ms. Finks: You weren’t!
Emera: My middle sister got married before me.
Ms. Finks: What was your favorite thing about your wedding?
Emera: Wow. Probably going around and talking to everyone. The first dance. Seeing all the faces that were there when Marcus and I first started dating in college. They remembered our courting days, so it was so nice. The ceremony, after we said our vows, everyone stood up and started clapping. I don’t think we’ve ever heard anyone clap at weddings like that before. You know, so it was a big to do. It was like we were performing and we got a standing ovation.
Ms. Finks: (laughter) Did you guys write your own vows?
Emera: No we didn’t.
Ms. Finks: Oh, ok. It’s so interesting! People were just really excited about your union?
Emera: Uh, huh.
Ms. Finks: Oh, wow.
Emera: Yeah. And they were like “It’s about time!”
Ms. Finks: (laughter)
Be sure to check back next week to hear about the benefits and challenges of being married from Emera’s perspective. If you enjoy the Love Notes series, subscribe to the Newsletter and never miss an installment. You can also follow me on Bloglovin’. And if you’re looking for ways to strengthen the bond between you, be sure to get access to Gettin’ Physical to discover new ways to connect, increase intimacy, and rekindle your passion.
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I'm Tanya Finks - Dating and Relationship Coach | Gallup-certified Strengths Coach | Sex Educator | Passionate advocate for dating intentionally, building collaborative romantic partnerships, and fostering fulfilling physical intimacy. I also love my partner (madly!), international travel, and anything superhero.