Love Notes: Emera & Marcus – Married 30 Years
Can young love last? Check out Emera and Marcus’ story and let me know what you think.
Published on Wednesdays, Love Notes interviews – with people married 20 years or longer – inspire us about what’s possible and capture a realistic picture of what it takes to make love last a lifetime.
Emera is an independent Sisterlocks Consultant and former professional dancer. Marcus is an experienced Hollywood Stuntman.
How did you meet?
Emera: We met in college in 1980. I saw him first, actually. I went to a function on campus and he happened to be a part of this talent show. He was modeling in the talent show. And I was like “who is that?” So that was that.
And then about a week or two later, I saw him again. But I was taking pictures. He thought I was a photographer. I was taking pictures, but it was mostly of him. So, when I happened to run into him in the dorm room, he said hello as he was walking by. We didn’t know each other yet. I said, “weren’t you in the fashion show?” He said “oh, yeah.” Well, I said “I have pictures from the fashion show if you want to stop by and see them, you’re more than welcome to do that.” He says, “oh, ok.”
Ms. Finks: Look at you!
Emera: That’s how we started. And needless to say, he came by like the next day to see the pictures and we kind of hit it off.
Ms. Finks: Did he officially ask you out on a date, or did you ask him? Or did you guys just start hanging out after…
Emera: We kind of started hanging out. Other people were kind of putting a bug in his ear because he heard that I was still seeing someone. And so was he. But I was getting out of that relationship, and he didn’t know that. And so was he. So, we were still at the tail end of our beginning ex relationships.
Emera: Once he found that out, we just started hanging. Unfortunately, I had to leave about a month or two after we started to connect because I had to have knee surgery. So I had to leave school and I was gone for half a semester. But I was chomping at the bit because I knew if I didn’t get back up there somebody was gonna snatch him up. Chomping at the bit.
I went to school for dance and my therapist and my doctor said it didn’t make sense for me to go up there. I was like “there are other classes. I still have academics to take.” My parents were like “no, it doesn’t make sense. Just take the semester off.”
I was so miserable that they couldn’t stand it anymore. Because Marcus and I, we still hadn’t exchanged phone numbers.
Ms. Finks: Oh, wow!
Emera: Right. Exactly. So, I went up half way through the second semester and we connected. It was probably toward the middle or end of February. We started dating toward the end of February of 1981.
Ms. Finks: Did you have an official first date?
Emera: No. We had an official, we call it Netflix and chill, or…
Emera: So, it was campus life. Dorms. That kind of thing. We didn’t have an official first date. But that’s what we call when we started dating. Because the next day we were now holding hands walking across campus so it was official.
Ms. Finks: Ah, youth! (laughter)
Emera: Mm, hmm. Youth.
Ms. Finks: When did you know he was the one?
Emera: When I first saw him. I was like “Oh my gosh, who is that? I, uh, oh, oh…” Basically when I first met him. I was like this is the person I’m going to marry. I didn’t tell him that because I didn’t want to scare him. But, yeah. And so we dated the rest of that semester, going into the summer.
Then we had some little hiccups in the beginning of the relationship because his ex didn’t want to let go of the relationship. So she got ahold of my phone number, she contacted me, she befriended my mom.
Ms. Finks: (gasp)
Emera: Yes, girl, it was something.
Ms. Finks: Wow!
Emera: Yeah. And I remember my mom asking me, “What about your friend so and so.” And I said, “That’s not my friend!” And my mom said, “What do you mean, she’s so nice.” I was like, “Oh, no!”
Ms. Finks: Oh, my gosh.
Emera: Yeah. So, once it was official, it was done and over with. I actually ended up meeting her in Manhattan to, I guess she was just chomping at the bit to see who this person was, you know. We met, we connected, that was that, and the rest is history as far as that’s concerned.
Ms. Finks: Once you met her she sort of backed off?
Emera: Yeah. He had already broken it off, and at that point he was done. So, you can’t keep going after somebody who’s not responding.
So, then we dated through the summer. Then he left and transferred to another university, but I’m trying to remember if that was my sophomore year or my junior year when he did that. So, then I would only see him on the weekends after that. He would come up. I wouldn’t go home. So, he would come up and visit and stay the entire weekend. So that’s how we got through that.
Ms. Finks: You went to a school for the arts, right?
Emera: Yes, it’s called State University of New York, College at Purchase. It’s like the sister school to Juilliard.
Ms. Finks: What was he studying?
Emera: He was liberal arts at the time. He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do. When he transferred, he went to Hunter College and graduated from there. He majored in communications.
Ms. Finks: What made you fall in love with him.
Emera: Well, of course the first attraction is looks.
Ms. Finks: Sure. Especially at that age.
Emera: Yeah. And his demeanor, his energy. He wasn’t pushy. He was just going with the flow. And we had good conversation. Really good conversation. And we had fun. We’d laugh. We still do that now. He was just easy going and not pent up, or full of himself. Especially coming from the south Bronx. Growing up right in the heart of trials and tribulations of the ghettos of New York City. I would have never thought with his energy and his demeanor that that was his background. And also, he was also an athlete, martial artist. And a top notch martial artist. So, we had the physicality in common also. He would come to all my dance performances. Got along with all my friends. Still does.
Ms. Finks: Sounds like he was a good easy fit.
Emera: Yeah. Especially coming off of the relationship that I was in previously. Although he was a great guy he was just too overprotective. I had no wiggle room. Whenever I wanted to hang out with my friends he had to be right there. When I had dance rehearsal, he would be sitting right there in the front of the studio.
Ms. Finks: Oh, wow.
Emera: Yeah. He would come pick me up after school, I’m in high school. You know, 3:00 he was right outside. It took me two hours to get to school, and he lived on my block. So, he would have to go out his way to come and meet me.
Ms. Finks: Wow.
Emera: So that would cut a lot of my hanging out after school with friends short. So, I just kind of said, you know what, this is not working. I need to move on.
Ms. Finks: He sounds kind of possessive.
Emera: Yeah, he was. But the sweetest guy. His family loves me to death. I’m still in communication the family. And they know Marcus because he was coming around the neighborhood. So, it was an easy transition for me, but not for him.
Check out part two of their story to hear how Marcus proposed and how this young couple tied the knot.
If you enjoyed this post, check out some of the other Love Notes interviews on the site. Also, don’t forget to join the Intimate Explorations tribe for so many benefits! All tribe members receive exclusive content, discounts, and five percent off at ToyLadyT’s Adult Toy Emporium and free access to Gettin’ Physical. At ToyLadyT’s Adult Toy Emporium, you’ll find a wealth of high-quality discounted bedroom accessories. Gettin’ Physical is a 90-minute digital course filled with fun tips to inject new energy into your physical relationship with your partner.
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I'm Tanya Finks - Dating and Relationship Coach | Gallup-certified Strengths Coach | Sex Educator | Passionate advocate for dating intentionally, building collaborative romantic partnerships, and fostering fulfilling physical intimacy. I also love my partner (madly!), international travel, and anything superhero.