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Love Notes: Ivan & Maria – Married 30+ Years

by | Sep 6, 2017 | Love Notes | 7 comments

Do you believe in love at first sight?  Can love at first sight endure?  Check out Ivan and Maria’s story and let me know what you think.

Published on Wednesdays, Love Notes interviews with people married 20 years or longer inspire us about what’s possible and capture a realistic picture of what it takes to make love last a lifetime.

Love Notes: How to Make Love Last a Liftime

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How did you meet? 

Ivan: We met one morning, I was out for a jog and she was walking to school. 

Maria: June 11, 19… 

Love Notes: How to Make Love Last a LifetimeIvan: 82. I saw her, and I have to say that for me it was love at first sight. But I was wanting to fall in love. I was looking for her, I just didn’t know who she was. But I was looking for her, and when I saw her, I thought that’s it. That’s what I’m talking about. 

Maria: Yes, I have to admit it. It was love at first sight. 

Ms. Finks: Really? 

Maria: (laughter) 

Ivan: I was a babe when I was a kid. 

Maria: His long curly hair, beautiful blue eyes. I never before looked at blue eyes, and that day it was like ‘Oh my god. This is the guy I’m gonna marry.’ That was my feeling that day. 

Ms. Finks: And so, what happened? How did you… Like did you… What happened? 

Maria: Well, he asked me out to play basketball. And of course, I said “No.” I didn’t know who he was. He was just a strange guy walking on the street, no driving on the street. He kept insisting and then what happened? 

Ivan: It’s kind of a silly story, but I was out for a jog, but I was actually driving to the park to go for a jog, and that’s when I saw her. So, I parked the car at a liquor store. This is our old neighborhood, this is where we grew up. And so, I parked the car at what was a liquor store at the time, and then I ran across the street to make conversation with her, because I saw her. She was walking with her sister. 

So we walked and quickly the sister got ahead of us and left us to talk. So, we walked for about a mile and a half or so to the high school. So, I asked her for her phone number and she gave it to me. But she gave me a bogus number. 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Maria: Only the last number was kind of messy. 

Ivan: So of course, I called and called and then nothing ever happened. But in our conversation, she told me that she works at the mall, the Cerritos mall. And so, I go, ‘At least I know where she works and I think I can find her.’ 

Love Notes: How to Make Love Last Forever

So, I went to the mall, and I walked through the mall. And I went from store to store to every single store in the mall looking for a girl named Maria with long hair. 

Maria: Very long hair. 

Ivan: Very long hair. And of course, no one knew anything about her. So, I thought, ‘That’s funny.’ I was driving home and in my car, there was a couple boys next to me in their car in the turning lane and they looked like her age group from the same area. So, I rolled down the window and said, “Hey, man. 

You guys ever hear of this girl?” And the boys said “Yeah, I think we know who she is. She has a sister. They call them the nun sisters.” 

Maria: (laughter) 

Ivan: Hermanas muncas. And I go “Yeah, yeah. That must be her.” 

“We’re not sure where she lives, but we think we can show you.” 

So, they took me to the neighborhood. I followed them and they took me to her street and they said “Somewhere on this street. We think she lives somewhere on this street.” 

So needless to say, I start stalking the street. 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Ivan: Driving around and driving around. And then, I don’t remember how it happened. 

Maria: The next morning you went back to my school. 

Ivan: Oh, and then I went looking for her at the school again. It was the last day of school. I saw her, and I said “Hey, what’s up?” 

Then she gave me her phone number again. 

Ms. Finks: The real one. 

Ivan: But I saw her, when I cruised the street. I eventually saw her near one of the houses. And then I stopped and talked to her or something. 

Maria: That was a month after. Because that last day of school, when he went back looking for me, I had to talk to him. So, I go there, and he’s like “I looked for you at the mall and you don’t work there.” 

I said, “No, I don’t work there.” 

Ivan: She never worked for the mall. She lied. 

Maria: I never worked at the mall. I lied. 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Maria: I never worked at the mall. 

Ivan: She worked in a factory. 

Maria: Yeah, I worked in a factory and, of course, my schedule was from 3:00 to 11:00 p.m. When he was looking for me, I think he said he stopped at like, 10:30. I used to get home at 11:15. So, the next day, sure enough he goes to school, looks for me and finds me. And I tell him, “You know what, I’m going to Mexico, TJ [Tijuana], for the summer.” He’s like “I want to go.” I said “I’ll call you and give you the number.” Of course, I never called. 

He had my number. He called me for a whole month, every single day, all day long. I used to tell my sister, “Don’t answer the phone. He’s very cute, but I don’t know him. I don’t know what his intentions are.” My parents were very, very strict and they’re like, “Don’t talk to anybody, you don’t know who you’re talking to.” So, I was like that. 

So finally, one day, he’s driving by. He sees me, and I’m like “Oh my god, that’s him.” So sure enough, he calls. I answer the phone and said, “Oh, how funny. I just got back from Mexico.” And he came over to the house. 

Ms. Finks: Oh, he came over to the house? 

Maria: Mm, hmm. And then the first time he sees my mom, he tells my mom, “I’m going to marry your daughter.” 

Ms. Finks: Aww. 

Ivan: I didn’t tell her I was going to marry you. I told her I wanted to marry you, that you were the type of girl I wanted to marry. 

Maria: Same thing. 

Ivan: Seeing her mom, and seeing how her mom was and the way she was raised, that made it certain that that’s what I wanted. 

Maria: The first time. The first time he comes to the house and meets my mom. 

Ivan: But I honestly felt that way. That’s honestly how I felt. But I was looking for love. I wanted to find someone and get serious. 

Ms. Finks: How old were you? 

Ivan: 21. 

Ms. Finks: And how old were you? 

Maria: I was 17. 

Ivan: That’s how we met. She lied from the beginning. 

All: (laughter) 

Maria: Well, sorry. I didn’t know you. When you called, you were welcome to come to my house. Then after that, I didn’t lie. Remember, my dad told me, “You’re not bringing any…I don’t want to see…I don’t want no friends (you know, boyfriends) to come over to the house.” And I was so afraid, so I said, “Ok, you’re welcome to come, but if my dad says something, you’re going to have to leave, right away!” And he’s like “Ok.” 

So, he walks into the house and my dad right away, “Oh, welcome, have a seat. Do you want to eat something?” So, I’m like, ‘Oh, whatever.’ I’m good here. They liked him from the very first time they saw him. 

Ivan: Yeah, and then they had a ferocious German Shepherd, that everybody feared to death. Of course, I walked in, opened the gate, went up to the dog, and pet it, and went inside. And everybody’s like ‘OK, I guess the dog likes him, he must be alright.’ 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Maria: Yeah, that dog would never let anybody into the house. No one. Not even friends of my brother. But he comes in and I say “Be careful. She bites.” “No, no, no. She’s okay.” And my dog goes and I guess she licked your hand or something. He was inside the house like nothing. And that was it. 

Ms. Finks: And did you guys go on a date? 

Ivan: Yeah, I think this is probably something that’s important because I’ve shared it with other people and sometimes you wonder if people believe it. But, at that time that I finally got to come to the house and see her. Because besides walking her to school and then seeing her at the school, I hadn’t seen her. And when I drove by I saw a little piece and I called thinking it was her and we spoke. And of course, she said, “Ok, you can come over.” 

So that day that I finally did come over, she didn’t greet me. I came in and the parents were there. So, I came inside the house. And then her mom and I were sitting there in the living room, and Maria comes out and… 

Maria: You were speechless. 

Ivan: Yeah. And then Maria walks out and then that image of her enlarged. It became very large and everything around her became almost out of focus. So, I don’t know. Mesmerized. I don’t know. That’s how it felt. I was sucked in and that was it. It was all over. I mean, that’s all I could see. It was majestic. It was abnormal. Unusual. I’ve never experienced it. Never have again since then. I saw her. Gosh, it sounds phony, funky, but it was almost like angelical or majestic. Literally, her image just grew and everything around her just wasn’t there. 

That was it. It was all over for me. 

Maria: (laughter) 

Ms. Finks: You had a first date? Where did you go? What did you do? 

Maria: We went to the Queen Mary. 

Ms. Finks: Really? 

Maria: Yeah. (laughter) 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Maria: We went to the Queen Mary. We went out to eat and then we went to walk around the Queen Mary and then we kissed. (laughter) 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Maria: And that was it. 

Ms. Finks: That was it for you? 

Maria: That was it. 

Ms. Finks: After the first date, you knew he was the one? 

Maria: Yeah. Actually, the first day I met him… 

Ms. Finks: The first day you met him, you knew he was the one? 

Maria: The first time I saw him, you know, I’m like…I had a boyfriend when I met him. I had a boyfriend. But my boyfriend, he was out. Ivan came in. It was love at first sight. You know how you see somebody and it’s like, that person has something and you know that that’s the one. 

Ms. Finks: Yeah, and you made it nearly impossible for him to find you. (laughter) 

Maria: Because I was so afraid. I was afraid. I liked him. He was very handsome. And I really liked him. But I was very afraid. 

We met on a Tuesday. Wednesday was the last day of school, and that Saturday, I broke up with my boyfriend. Because the boyfriend, I’d see him like once a week on Saturday. That day I saw him, that was it. I’m like, that’s it. And he would call me. Of course, I would not talk to him, but I knew that eventually we were going to meet again. So that was it. 

Ms. Finks: Very interesting. What made you fall in love with him? 

Love Notes: How to Make Love Last a Lifetime

Maria: The fact that he asked me…Besides his eyes. The fact that he asked me to play basketball. I’m like…basketball? You know everybody says let’s go for a cup of coffee, let’s go. And I really liked that. Basketball. And basketball is one of my favorite sports. I don’t play, but I like to watch it. So that was it. 

Ms. Finks: Wow. 

Maria: Yeah. 

Ms. Finks: Different approach. 

Ivan: I never played basketball. 

Maria: (laughter) 

Ms. Finks: (laughter) 

Maria: No, you used to with your friends. 

Ivan: We did play a little bit of basketball with our buddies. 

Maria: Because whenever we went to the park and he’d bring his ball to play basketball. Never, ever, ever. And we dated two years. 

Ms. Finks: What made you know that Maria was the right woman to marry? I mean, I know that you said it was love at first sight. And then you dated for two years. At some point, you must have known that you were right? Did you trust that initial feeling? Or was there a point where you said, ’OK, yes. Absolutely.’ 

Ivan: I don’t know. As I mentioned, I wanted to fall in love. I wanted to settle down. I wanted to get married. I was ready to do something like that. So, I wanted to meet that person. I don’t know if I was looking, necessarily, but I wanted to meet that person. And when I saw her, I liked her a lot, immediately, immensely, and that’s all I could think about. I mean, obviously, if I went to every frickin’ store in the mall, it was because I really wanted to see her and talk to her. 

I knew that I wanted someone that was Hispanic. Because I was raised in Chile, and then I left Chile when I was 12, and then I went back when I was 20, and I spent six months there. And I realized how much I liked the Hispanic females. And it also made me realize what my heritage was, what my background was, and that I wanted that to continue. My two girlfriends that I was serious about growing up were both white gals, very beautiful anglo girls. And then when I went to Chile I realized, ‘wow, I’m Chilean, I’m Latin, I speak Spanish, I want my kids to speak Spanish. I want to eat beans and listen to that kind of music.’ 

So, when I came back and I wanted to meet a girl, I wanted her to be Hispanic. I knew that. And then when I went to her house and I saw her family and I met her mom and I saw how they lived, and that’s what I wanted to associate myself with. I wanted salt of the earth, sincere, loving, real, down-to-earth types of people. And then when she came out and then I was dizzy or whatever happened, that was it for me. From that point forward… 

About a week later I think I bought her an engagement ring. 

Ms. Finks: Wow. 

Ivan: And brought it to the house and I gave it to the mother because I wanted to be respectful as much as I could. But I wanted them to understand what my motivation was. I was very serious. So I gave the mom the ring and I said, “This is what I intend to do, and would you hold on to it for a while, while I find the right time?” So, she agreed to keep it for a while. No, I knew that I wanted to marry her probably the day I went to the house and saw her. If they would have allowed us to get married that day, I think we probably would have. Or at least I would have said ok. 

 

Read part two of their story here.

Love Notes - How to Make Love Last a Lifetime
Love Notes - How to Make Love Last a Lifetime
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7 Comments

  1. PALASH MONDAL

    This story serves a a wonderful reminder and reinforces what I believe in! I’ll find her when I’m ready!

    Reply
  2. Simon Manuel

    I’ve always believed that you go with your initial feeling. I’ve had bad vibes about the 3 women I’ve been with and that gut feeling was right after all.
    This story serves a a wonderful reminder and reinforces what I believe in! I’ll find her when I’m ready!

    Reply
    • Ms. Finks

      You will find her when you’re ready! There’s definitely someone for everyone. I believe that wholeheartedly.

      Reply
  3. Ramona Spires

    I really enjoyed reading this post. It seems like it was fate for these two to have met.

    Reply
    • Ms. Finks

      Doesn’t it? Theirs really is a sweet story.

      Reply
  4. josh

    Enjoyed reading this one. Love it!

    Reply
    • Ms. Finks

      Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply

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Hi there!  I’m Tanya Finks.  I help people date intentionally, build collaborative romantic partnerships, and foster fulfilling physical intimacy.  I’m happily coupled, I’m a staunch believer in vacation, and I love anything crime drama, all things Shonda Rhimes, and everything superhero.


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