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Love Notes: Katy and Steve – Married 40+ Years

by | Nov 1, 2017 | Love Notes | 12 comments

How does a college romance turn into 40 years of marriage?  Check out Katy and Steve’s story and find out how.

Published on Wednesdays, Love Notes interviews – with people married 20 years or longer – inspire us about what’s possible and capture a realistic picture of what it takes to make love last a lifetime.



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Katy has been an Executive Assistant for the same company for nearly 30 years.  Steve is a retired musician, cameraman and editor.

How did you meet?

Katy: We met at school, at the University of Colorado.  I was roommates with his sister.

Ms. Finks: Aw.

Katy: I think he was looking for an easy date.  We probably both were.  But it worked.  And we just clicked and went from there.

Ms. Finks: Did he ask you out?  You asked him out?

Katy: I think he asked me out.

Ms. Finks: Tell me about your first date.


Love Notes: How to Make Love Last a Lifetime



Katy: Oh, geez.  I really don’t remember it.  I kind of remember going.  We may have driven like up in the mountains somewhere.  I really don’t remember.  I don’t know that he would remember either.  I think I remember the first time I saw him.  We were in the apartment that I shared with his sister and two other people.  And he came over.

It was in the days when people wore fringe leather jackets.  Long fringe leather jackets.  And I just remember his coming in the door and wearing his long fringe leather jacket, and bell-bottoms probably, and long hair and beard and whatever, you know.  I just remember that.  I don’t know what we did after that.

Ms. Finks: When did you know he was the one?


Katy:  It was a little hard for me to figure out, actually.  Because he’s a…I was never quite sure whether he was always really very sincere and genuine or if he was putting me on.  And even other people.  And I finally came to realize that he really is a very genuine and sincere guy.  But there’s something about his presentation of it that makes you think, ‘what is he really saying? And does he really mean that?’

So then after I finally decided he was ok, then that was pretty much it.  I guess we just hit it off because we just kind of went from there.  There was never really any big break up.  We met in January of 1971.  And then I spent that summer traveling with a friend of mine.  That probably would have either made us or broken us.  We’d not been going out for that long.  But we hooked back up again after I got back after that whole summer.

Ms. Finks:  How did he propose?

Katy: I think it was kind of just a mutual decision.

Ms. Finks: Really?

Katy: He never really.  It wasn’t a big romantic presentation of a ring or like they do these days where they go on treasure hunts and find the ring buried under a rock.  It really was nothing like that.  Because we lived together for about a year before we got married.  We were in school, and he was working and going to school and stuff like that.  So I think we just kind of sequewayed into getting married.  It wasn’t a big thing.

Ms. Finks: Did he propose or did you guys just decide one day to get married?

Katy:  I don’t know.  I guess we just kind of started talking about it and.  I don’t remember it as a one-conversation event thing.  I wasn’t all overcome or surprised.  It would be interesting to see what he has to say about it.  He has a better memory than I do.  But as I recall, you know we just talked and came to the decision that we would get married, when and where.  I remember more about that.  The planning of the wedding and where and who and having lots of arguments about that.

Ms. Finks: (laughter)

Katy: So that’s why (laughter).

How’d you meet your partner?  Did you know right away, or did it take you some time to figure it out?  Share your story below or get a customized Love Book to celebrate your love story.

Check back next week to hear about Katy and Steve’s wedding.  Be sure to become an Intimate Explorations Insider so you never miss an update, free course or exclusive discount.  And if you haven’t gotten your copy of Gettin’ Physical register today to discover new ways to strengthen the bond between you.

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  1. Candy Rachelle

    Wow!! Congratulations on your 40 years of marriage. You both are such an inspiration for the couples to fight for their love. Such a lovely and beautiful story you shared.

  2. Jaleby

    40 years of togetherness is amazing !!! Very nice story.

  3. brandidcrawfordgmailcom

    40 years is a really long time. This is such a great story to read.

  4. Steph

    I love reading tales of love like yours! Your relationship will only get stronger in the years to come with a bond that both of you have. I wish you guys happiness!

  5. toastycritic

    I know that we were very similar when it came down to not having the big proposal at first. But then my ex really wanted me to do something anyway. 40 years is pretty amazing. Congratulations on that for the big couple. Such a beautiful story.

  6. Ananda Qianyu

    incredible! i love these sweet love stories ! congrats on all these years together!!

  7. Mike Leonard

    40 years is incredible! As a 30 year-old that is insane, awesome story!

  8. Carol Cassara

    They’re the perfect example of when you meet someone, it feels natural to be together. No fuss, no drama, no hassle. It just feels that way. I love their story, it’s adorable and really true to the core.

  9. Cynthia Salgado

    Love this, I so want to reach such a milestone with my husband. He said on one of our first dates that he was going to marry me, I laughed! And then, he did!

  10. Adriana Martin (@ABRecipes)

    Finding the right person to spend 40 years together is a gamble. I admire people that sty together for so long. But it is not the norm. I have a good marriage and hope we stay together until we die from old age.

  11. Cassie Liz

    40 years is such a wonderful accomplishment! Love getting to read stories like this and hear about others journeys!

  12. Rose

    Beautiful story. I need people like this in my life. When you see couples that have lasted it’s motivating and encouraging. You know there’s no secret and it takes work but that doesn’t make a relationship any easier.


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Hi there!  I’m Tanya Finks.  I help people date intentionally, build collaborative romantic partnerships, and foster fulfilling physical intimacy.  I’m happily coupled, I’m a staunch believer in vacation, and I love anything crime drama, all things Shonda Rhimes, and everything superhero.

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